I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
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