I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Life is so much better after having sex.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
