so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
