I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
