last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
