we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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