I'm going to jail i love you
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
