Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
