I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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