I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
