the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
They took my balls.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
