Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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