Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
They have beer where we have blood.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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