alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
