ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
