whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
