is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
