3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
