i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
