I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
