i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
