All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
