Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
