jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
