you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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