Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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