So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
