I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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