New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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