everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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