I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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