I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
