Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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