I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
