Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
organizing the empties. That sober.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
