this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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