I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
