Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
