Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
