just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
