I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
you will always have a special place in my vag
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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