What a fucking waste of an outfit
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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