My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
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