We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
