Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We have so much sex to catch up on
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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