Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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