arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
