Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
