So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
