we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
