my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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