i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
