This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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