I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
