I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
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