we're blogging at a bar
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
