you're like a bully in the Christmas story
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
