craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
