Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
where are my eyebrows?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
